Exploring the Essence of Happiness and Altruism: Why Do We Suffer for Others?

“What is happiness? What is the one thing that all sentient beings desire? Is it not happiness? In the final analysis, are not all our desires just various forms of our one fundamental desire to be happy? Is not our fundamental desire for happiness the essence of every form of desire that we may ever have? Our desire for happiness is the driving force behind all the countless forms of effort that we are always making.”

This profound extract from Michael James’ book “Happiness: The Art of Being,” reflects the teachings of Sri Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi, a revered spiritual teacher known for his wisdom and insights on the essence of human existence. The extract paints a picture of a universal drive towards happiness—a desire that propels our actions, whether conscious or not.

Our Fundamental Desire for Happiness

From the moment we are born, our actions, thoughts, and efforts are inherently centered around this desire to be happy. These actions, which include much of our day-to-day activities, are driven by a deep-seated need for contentment. Our happiness is not only a personal pursuit but also a contributing factor to the happiness of others.

Indeed, the extract emphasizes that while we may desire happiness for ourselves primarily, our actions towards others are also motivated by the desire to see their happiness reflected in us. This mutual enjoyment of happiness is a cornerstone of our social interactions. Even when we engage in altruistic actions, the ultimate motivation remains our own happiness, manifested through the happiness of others.

Altruism and the Suffering Drive

Altruism, or the selfless concern for the well-being of others, often involves making sacrifices for the benefit of others. Yet, these sacrifices are driven by a paradoxical form of happiness. For instance, when we see someone suffering, we feel a deep existential unease, a stark contrast to the happiness derived from solving their suffering. The act of alleviating someone's pain brings us joy, and we willingly undergo discomfort or even suffering to achieve this.

Some individuals take this a step further, choosing to endure pain or suffering voluntarily because they believe it offers them a form of happiness. It is as if the act of suffering becomes a conduit to what they perceive as a profound joy, a release from the cycle of happiness and dissatisfaction. This kind of masochism, despite its seemingly paradoxical nature, is a fascinating exploration of the human psyche's complex relationship with happiness and pain.

Understanding the Mechanism of Happiness and Suffering

Happiness, as a fundamental desire, can be dissected into two main aspects: the internal state of contentment and the drive to alleviate the suffering of others. Both aspects are interconnected and interdependent, reflecting a deep-seated human nature. Understanding this mechanism can help us navigate our relationships, choices, and actions in a more enlightened manner.

When we see others suffer, our initial reaction might be to empathize and feel their pain. However, it is this same suffering that can lead to a greater sense of happiness when we intervene. The act of suffering for others is seen as a form of contribution to a larger happiness, a form of joy in giving. This transformation of pain into joy is a powerful concept, challenging traditional views of happiness and suffering.

Implications for Modern Living

Considering the profound impact of this understanding on our daily lives, it is crucial to reflect on how we can harness this knowledge to lead more fulfilling and empathetic lives. By recognizing our desire for happiness as the underlying force behind our actions, we can better navigate ethical decisions and interpersonal relationships. This awareness can lead to more compassionate and meaningful connections with others.

Moreover, this insight challenges us to question the nature of suffering and find ways to transform our perception of it. Masochistic tendencies, while seemingly negative, can be seen as a form of self-improvement and growth. Recognizing the joy in helping others and the happiness derived from suffering can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling existence.

Conclusion

Ultimately, the path to happiness is not solely about personal pleasure but also the ability to see the happiness of others as a reflection of our own. This understanding of our fundamental desires and the mechanisms of happiness and suffering can be a transformative force in our lives, guiding us towards more meaningful and interconnected existence.

By embracing this insight, we can lead lives that are not only filled with our own happiness but also contribute to a world where everyone experiences joy. Through this process of self-reflection and understanding, we can navigate the complex interplay between happiness and suffering, ultimately finding a deeper sense of fulfillment and connection.