Empowering Kids: Tips for Giving Them More Control and Teaching Self-Control

Understanding how to give children more control and teach them self-discipline is key to their development. In this article, we will explore five practical tips to empower kids, foster decision-making skills, and build mutual success. The goal is to create an environment where children feel valued and empowered to make choices that lead to positive outcomes.

1. Engage Your Kids in Household Tasks

One of the most effective ways to give children more control is by involving them in household tasks. Rather than assigning chores, ask for their help in a positive way. For example, you can say, “Could you please set the table for dinner while I prepare the meal?” This encourages a sense of responsibility and helps them feel like an integral part of the family.

2. Offer Limited Choices to Improve Decision-Making

Teaching decision-making skills is crucial for a child's development. You can do this by offering limited choices in everyday situations. For instance, you might ask, “You may finish your homework now or play for a little while. Which would you prefer?” This approach empowers them to make choices and enhances their decision-making abilities.

3. Let Your Child Take Charge of Task Timing

Providing a sense of independence by allowing your child to decide when certain tasks should be completed is another effective method. While the task itself is non-negotiable, the timing is something they can choose. This approach helps build their confidence and instills a sense of responsibility.

4. Build Relationships Through a Routine

“In routine we find both order and opportunity – a foundation for growth and shared accomplishment.” Consistency in routine helps children feel secure and prepared. By establishing a regular schedule, you provide a clear structure that they can rely on. This predictability can lead to improved behavior and decision-making.

5. Craft Solutions Together for Mutual Wins

When faced with conflicting preferences, initiating a conversation that encourages collaboration can be highly beneficial. Express, “I understand you have your viewpoint and I have mine. How can we work together to find a solution that benefits both of us?” This fosters a sense of teamwork and mutual respect.

Teaching Self-Control Through Delayed Gratification

Teaching self-control is another essential aspect of child development. One effective way to do this is by teaching children to wait for something better than what they currently want. For instance, instead of immediately giving them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, suggest they have a glass of water now and wait for a half hour to enjoy a tofu macaroni and cheese with cauliflower puree, which is a treat for them.

Giving children choices and letting them wait for better options helps them develop self-discipline. However, it's important to note that you are not withholding any food or attention; rather, you are showing them that patience and delayed gratification lead to better results. Emphasize the benefits and allow them to make the choice. Point out the consequences of each choice and highlight moments where waiting produced better outcomes.

By consistently applying these strategies, you can help your child develop the skills they need to make informed decisions, manage their time effectively, and foster positive relationships. Remember, every child is different, and what works well for one might not work for another. Be patient, and celebrate every step of the way!