From Christian Catholicism to Pagan Faith: A Journey of Religious Trauma and Personal Discovery

My journey from Christian Catholicism to a pagan faith such as Wicca or Asatru is a complex one, deeply rooted in experiences of religious trauma and a profound sense of disillusionment. This transition was not an overnight decision but a series of awakenings and realizations that unfolded over time.

Religious Trauma and Disillusionment

Throughout my upbringing, I was Christian Catholic, a religion of tradition and stringent norms. While I embraced the spiritual aspects, such as the Choir Songs being particularly delightful, the overall experience left me feeling disconnected. The rigid structure of Sunday services and the often dull routines didn’t resonate with me, particularly the Collegium Curatoriale De Cristo, or CCD (Religious Education) classes where the emphasis was on memorization rather than understanding.

Despite these reservations, my orthodox upbringing was not entirely without its perks. Receiving all seven sacraments was an important milestone in my life. However, the sense of uniqueness or specialness was overshadowed by the realization that the Holy Ghost did not granted me a unique status beyond the other members of the congregation.

My experience with the religious community was further complicated by the intolerance and discrimination. When I came out as LGBTQ , the pastor whom I initially admired became a source of fear and hatred. The mandatory practice of dissuading LGBTQ individuals through gestures such as throwing holy water made a lasting impression. The overall environment fostered a sense of fear and discouragement, a far cry from the teachings of love thy neighbor.

Religious Contradictions and Inconsistencies

The contradictions within the religious community were glaring. Paradoxes such as the commandment to love thy neighbor being juxtaposed with rampant bullying, and the injunction to not kill being contradicted by violent crusades in the name of divine righteousness, deeply troubled me. The notion of a jealous god who allowed other gods to exist in his domain was also perplexing. Instead of fostering a sense of unity, the emphasis on exclusivity and manipulation created divisions and a sense of mistrust among the members.

These patterns of hypocrisy, coupled with the aggressive attempts to demonize and control, led to a deep-seated hatred for the community. Over time, I drifted away from organized religion altogether, not identifying with any singular tradition. Instead, I embraced a more fluid approach, combining elements from various faiths to create a personalized spiritual practice that resonated more deeply.

Discovering a New Spiritual Community

While I no longer classify myself within any single religion, I have discovered a new spiritual community that aligns with my values and beliefs. This community is rooted in pagan practices, specifically Wicca and Asatru, which offer a more inclusive and respectful spiritual framework. What I find particularly compelling about these faiths is their emphasis on love and respect for all beings, a principle that aligns with the core teachings of all religions.

Despite the varied traditions, the shared values of these pagan communities provide a homespun sense of belonging. The sense of dissatisfaction with religious structures has led me to find a more authentic connection with nature and the spirit world. Pagan rituals and practices have provided a healing space, allowing me to explore relationships with deities and spirits on my terms.

I have not abandoned my respect for the boundaries that define these pagan practices. Instead, I have worked to create a harmonious balance, respecting the traditions of those around me while maintaining my own spiritual path. My journey has been marked by a series of awakenings, leading me from a place of disillusionment to a community where I am truly accepted and respected.

What my story ultimately illustrates is the complexity of religious transformation and the profound impact that personal experiences can have on one's spiritual path. It is a reminder that while religious traditions offer valuable teachings, it is ultimately the individual's journey that defines their beliefs and practices. For those seeking a deeper connection with spirituality, exploring alternative paths and communities can provide a rich and meaningful experience.