Is Envy a Universal Trait When Facing Success?

Do most people harbour a secret envy for anyone who is more successful than they are? This is a question that has puzzled philosophers and psychologists for a long time. Personally, I cannot say I am a competitive person nor do I belong to the self-centered group of individuals who make envy a central part of their narrative. I am frustrated by my life's shortcomings, but I do not feel envied about others' lack of success either, regardless of how close I am to achieving my goals.

Understanding Envy: A Natural Emotion

Envy is often perceived as a negative emotion, but it is more complex than that. It can be the natural inclination to want something that someone else has. Over time, I have come to differentiate envy from admiration. Admiration, for instance, arises from the desire to emulate someone who lives their life according to their values. Acting on this admiration can lead to a fulfilling life.

Envy, in contrast, manifests when we want something material that someone else has, without necessarily wanting to emulate their values or achievements. This is a normal human emotion that arises naturally, as we observe others. The key is whether this envy drives us to act or serves as motivation. If not, it remains a mild and harmless emotion.

Envy in a Meritocratic Society

Envy can be a complicated emotion, especially in a meritocratic society. Here, people's success or failure can be attributed to personal merits or efforts. However, we don't always know the journey that led to someone's success, which makes it quite challenging to compare their achievements impartially.

Alain de Botton, in his TED Talk, sheds light on the nuances of envy. He discusses the emotional toll of living in a society where success and failure are prominently on display. Envy is a natural response, but it can turn harmful when it becomes an unhealthy competition rather than a source of inspiration.

Positive Envy vs. Negative Envy

When we observe others succeeding, we can feel both inspired and envious. Positive envy can push us to improve ourselves and achieve our goals. Negative envy, on the other hand, can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction. It is essential to differentiate these two forms of envy.

To determine whether we are envious or admiring someone, we need to ask ourselves if we are inspired to pursue their success or motivated by their material gains alone. If the former, we are on a positive path. If the latter, we may need to re-evaluate our approach.

Facing Envy and Moving Forward

Many of us feel envious, especially when we realize the vast opportunities available to others. This feeling can be a result of a lack of perspective or a recognition of the abundance of opportunities. It is important to focus on the positive aspects of others' success and capitalize on our own opportunities.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, an exemplar of success, once said, "You have to remember something: Everybody pities the weak jealousy you have to earn." This quote encapsulates the importance of recognizing that jealousy and envy must be earned through hard work and dedication. Envy is a natural emotion, but it should not define us or our lives.

My personal experience often revolves around self-reflection and introspection. Envy can be a stepping stone towards personal growth, but it is vital to accentuate the positive elements and remove the negative ones. Understanding that success can lead to strong emotions, but channeling those emotions into constructive actions can be transformative.

Today, I may still experience moments of envy, but these moments are fleeting. It is essential to recognize that envy is a symptom of a broader issue and not the root of the problem. We need to look at the bigger picture and find ways to grow from these experiences.