What Makes Negotiating for Yourself Easier

Mark Zuckerberg once said, 'Failure is success if we learn from it.' Similarly, Lewis C. Lin suggests that practiced negotiation can indeed turn dismal encounters into wins. However, many of us are intuitively averse to negotiation, often feeling terrified even at the mere thought of it. This article explores practical strategies and tips to simplify the negotiation process, ensuring success both in major and everyday transactions.

Overcoming Fear and Shyness

Some of us are not naturally skilled at negotiation. Others get frightened by the idea of advocating for ourselves, which can lead to physical discomfort. For me, the first serious attempt at negotiation was a daunting experience. The sound of the salesperson's voice was drowned out by the thundering in my ears, and I almost physically winced when I asked for a better deal, expecting someone to intervene and stop me. Instead, I managed to save money and realized that negotiation isn't as scary as it seems.

Intentional practice with a partner can significantly boost your negotiation confidence. First, work on asking for what you want. Use your negotiating buddy to simulate different scenarios. Then, practice this ability in more casual settings, like asking for a discount at Starbucks. Next, focus on maintaining silence after making your request. Many find it difficult to stay silent and keep their requests. Practice until you feel more comfortable and assured.

Reinforcing During Childhood

Our early environments often shape our negotiation skills. Children are often trained to defer to their parents' desires, anticipating and obeying their needs. This training can become deeply ingrained, making it uncomfortable to assert our own needs. However, with practice, negotiation becomes more natural and less stressful.

Strategies for Success

We often hear that the key to successful negotiation is getting multiple competing offers. This method is indeed effective for novice negotiators. However, there's another powerful tool you should also consider: scripts and checklists. These tools, often used by doctors and salespeople in high-stakes situations, help minimize decision-making errors and omissions, especially in stressful conditions.

One strategy for salary negotiations that I would highly recommend is the use of scripts from the book '60 Killer Negotiation Scripts.' These scripts are designed to simplify the negotiation process, making it easier to articulate your needs and expectations. Here's a quick example of such a script:

'Thank you for this opportunity. I did some research on the market, and I believe my skills and experience would bring significant value to the role. I am confident that I can contribute in ways that align with the company's goals. If we could have a salary range somewhere around [insert range], it would be a good starting point for us to explore further.'

By using such a script, you can make your negotiation more structured and less intimidating. The script pre-emptively addresses common potential objections and guides you through the process of setting clear, understandable expectations.

Conclusion

Negotiation doesn't have to be a daunting task. With some intentional practice, a good friend to practice with, and some effective tools, you can make negotiation easier and more successful. Start with foundational skills, and gradually build up your confidence and expertise. Remember, the key is to be prepared and confident. Whether you're negotiating a salary or a coffee price, the right approach can turn the tables in your favor.

Keywords

Negotiation skills, negotiation tactics, effective negotiation