Navigating Communication with a Narcissistic Spouse: Hiring an Attorney is Wise

Communicating with a narcissistic spouse, especially when it involves sensitive topics such as divorce, can be incredibly challenging and potentially harmful. It is often highly advisable to have an attorney handle all communication. In this article, we will explore the benefits of involving a divorce attorney in such situations and share a personal story that underscores the importance of this approach.

The Benefits of Having an Attorney Handle Communication

Dealing with a narcissistic spouse can be emotionally draining and stressful. They might write letters deriding and excoriating you on subjects related to divorce. Moreover, if you have already blocked their number and email, direct communication might feel reckless or even dangerous. An attorney can serve as an intermediary, ensuring that the communication is professional, ethical, and effective.

According to a former divorce attorney who has seen firsthand the pitfalls of direct communication with such individuals, hiring an attorney for communication can cost more initially. However, the long-term benefits in terms of stress reduction and the preservation of a level of safety and professionalism cannot be understated. Neglecting to involve a lawyer can lead to mishandled communications that escalate situations or exacerbate the difficulty of the divorce process.

A Personal Experience: Managing an Abusive Ex-Husband

As a former divorce attorney, my experience includes navigating the complex emotional and legal landscape of such relationships. One of my most memorable cases involved a relationship that ended very acrimoniously. My ex-partner was not only narcissistic but also extremely vindictive and even physically abusive.

When my ex attempted to reassure me by inviting me to retrieve items from his home, I went cautiously, only to find a scene of destruction. This was not a mere cleaning session; everything from broken glasses to torn clothes and deteriorated belongings was deliberately left exposed. The behavior was an attempt to stir emotions and provoke reactions, which is a common tactic used by narcissists to control their victims.

The emotions and the level of stress were unbearable. I eventually recognized the importance of stepping away and running my business. It was not just the physical presence of my ex causing problems but his threatening and emotionally abusive behavior as well. Ignoring his attempts to engage did not stop him from trying to intimidate me through legal maneuverings and other manipulative actions.

My ex offered to settle the case for $20,000, which I initially accepted. However, after consulting with my attorney and with the help of a counselor who helped me understand the nature of my ex’s behavior, I realized I could fight for a much better settlement. In the end, I was awarded more than $200,000. The key here was having a professional who could guide me through the legal negotiations without falling for his tactics.

Conclusion: Why Hiring an Attorney is Essential

In conclusion, when dealing with a narcissistic spouse, especially in divorce matters, hiring an attorney is not just wise but often necessary. The emotional and legal battles can be daunting, but with the right guidance, you can navigate these challenges more effectively. Depersonalizing the interaction and letting a professional take charge can significantly reduce stress and the potential for missteps in communication.

Remember, direct communication with a narcissistic person is risky and can jeopardize your well-being and the outcome of your legal case. The initial expense of hiring an attorney is just a small price to pay for the peace of mind, safety, and successful resolution of your divorce proceedings.

So, when your narcissistic spouse prefers to communicate through threatening letters, or you find yourself blocked from direct contact, consider reaching out to a divorce attorney. It can be the best move for your emotional and legal health.