Introduction

When it comes to forgiving a loved one, especially your mother, it can be incredibly challenging. This situation involves dealing with theft and physical, mental, and emotional abuse, which are extremely difficult to overcome. Many advice on forgiveness suggests that it is crucial to let go of resentment and move forward, but this is not always easy or appropriate, especially when the abuse is severe.

Choosing to Forgive

The suggestion to forgive comes from a place of hope and a desire for peace. However, not all situations are appropriate for forgiveness. When someone steals from you, abuses you, and treats you unfairly, the process of forgiving can be long and complicated. Before contemplating forgiveness, it is important to address the underlying issues and consider whether the person is truly capable of change.

Addressing the Situation

First and foremost, having a sit-down with your mother and ensuring that she apologizes is crucial. An apology must come from a place of genuine regret and an understanding that her actions were harmful and wrong. Simply forgiving without the apology won't help mend the broken relationship or provide necessary closure.

The Role of God and Forgiveness

Religious teachings, such as the Bible, speak about forgiveness, but even divinity comes with conditions. God forgives those who repent, but it is clear that not all people are capable of sincere repentance. If your mother has not truly acknowledged her wrongdoing and sought to change, it may be more beneficial to focus on healing and moving forward rather than blindly forgiving.

The Importance of Seeking Help

Emotional and psychological healing is vital when dealing with such trauma. It is important to separate the pain from the memories and recognize the impact this abuse may have had on you, such as developing PTSD. Seeking professional help, through therapy such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), can be incredibly beneficial in reclaiming control over your life.

Forgiveness on Your Terms

Forgiveness is a personal journey and must be on your terms. Remember that being forgiven is not an entitlement, and you have every right to take your time and heal. Forgiveness should not come from guilt or pity but from a place of understanding. True forgiveness is a choice, and it should only be made when you are ready and willing.

Conclusion

While forgiveness is a powerful tool, it is not always necessary or beneficial. If the abuse is severe and ongoing, pursuing healing and setting boundaries might be more appropriate. The ultimate decision to forgive or not to forgive is yours, and it should be made when you have processed the trauma and are ready to move forward.