Nurturing Homeless Grownup Children: Strategies and Support

The question of how to support grownup children who have become homeless is both complex and emotionally charged. Each situation is unique, and the approach must reflect the underlying reasons for the child's homelessness.

Assisting with Circumstances Beyond Their Control

When homelessness is caused by events outside the child's control, such as a natural disaster or an unexpected crisis, parental support can be invaluable. If a hurricane, wildfire, or earthquake strikes, providing a stable environment is essential. This might mean offering a temporary home or financial assistance to help the child find a new place. Understanding and empathy are crucial, as the child may be dealing with significant trauma and stress.

Personal Experiences and Lessons Learned

One parent's experience offers a relatable case study. During two separate instances, a child spent nearly a year in the parent's home. Another child lived with the parent for a couple of months due to a garnishment for medical debt and later occupied a rental unit owned by the parent at a significantly reduced rent. These examples highlight the importance of availability and flexibility in offering support.

Social Support and Independence

While extending a home can be a comfortable and compassionate gesture, it is also important to promote independence. From a child's perspective, it is humane to help them become self-sufficient rather than becoming overly dependent. A parent might assist by:

Encouraging job interviews and skill development. Motivating them to pursue further education or vocational training. Providing emotional support and confidence-building encouragement. Facilitating the creation of a flat-share or go-fund-me page to raise funds for a stable living situation.

The goal is to help them regain their footing while avoiding dependency. This approach fosters resilience and ensures that the child learns to handle their own challenges.

Fostering Independence Through Financial and Emotional Guidance

Another perspective sheds light on how parental support can sometimes come in the form of financial guidance rather than a place to live. In one scenario, a son refused to take responsibility for himself and his education. His reluctance to work and the frustration that the offered support is being used by his father, leading to conflicts. This example underscores the delicate balance between helping and enabling. Facing the harsh reality of homelessness might be the necessary push for personal growth and responsibility.

Practical Support and The Benefits of Hardship

A personal example from another parent demonstrates the reality of providing practical support. After losing a job, a child moved in for a few weeks, but financial constraints made that unsustainable. Extended family accommodation was a viable solution for a short period, but the long-term arrangement required significant sacrifice. Currently, the arrangement includes:

The parent has given up their bedroom for the child and their cats. A temporary residence was found for the child. Another family member moved in with the parent and their mother and dog.

The situation is complex and continues to evolve. Eventually, the parent hopes to move to a new state and sell their current home to gain independence.

Supporting homeless grownup children involves a blend of compassion and practical measures. The key is to balance the provision of immediate assistance with the goal of fostering independence. Whether offering a place to stay, financial guidance, or emotional support, the ultimate aim is to help the child rebuild their life.