Overcoming Challenges: The Journey Behind 'I Don't Want to Go'

Writing about a past relationship that was meaningful but didn’t end well can be incredibly challenging and emotional. You may feel a mix of sadness, regret, and longing, and it can be difficult to put those feelings into words. In this article, we explore a powerful songwriting experience that required the narrator to relive painful memories and find clarity through creativity. We also delve into the personal and professional lessons learned from this introspective process.

Reliving Painful Memories: Why I Wouldn't Even Go There

A song that would require the songwriter to relive painful childhood memories is something I personally wouldn’t even consider. The act of writing about such emotionally charged experiences can be extremely draining and may not always lead to constructive outcomes. Instead, I focus on embracing challenges that promote growth and reflection.

Challenges and Growth in Songwriting

At its core, this question is very powerful. To look back over my songs and determine which one was the “hardest” doesn’t seem like a productive narrative for any creative person. Instead, I believe it's important to focus on the learning and insights that come from challenging experiences. With challenges comes lessons… insights… growth. And I believe these need just as much attention as the hard moments.

A Personal Turning Point in Life and Music

So, with that in mind, here is a story from a moment in my life where I needed clarity and how I turned to music to find it. Because songwriting is inherently linked to the state of one's life, it's important to understand the circumstances I was in at the time. I was teaching at a start-up school with an honest vision to provide authentic hands-on learning experiences for its students. It was a perfect fit—given the freedom to teach creatively in my math classes, to build my own music program from the ground up, and to start a theater club.

After a few years of putting all my energy into these programs, I realized I was spending more time developing my programs than developing myself. I felt stagnant, exhausted, and wasn’t making the best decisions. I had a deep feeling that something more was out there for me. Perhaps, a feeling familiar to many.

A Catalyst for Change

With that realization, I had a question: what was getting in my way of just… quitting? Saying goodbye to the childhood dream and... just go for it. And other questions followed. Like: what was I looking for? While I could have listed questions all day long, it would not have been productive.

Instead, I decided to pick the one that felt right and surrender to my creative side to find insight. I asked, "What is getting in my way?" And I took whatever came to me. I vowed to create something, start to finish. I persisted until it was done. A song unlike any other song I’ve written came to me. I called it “I Don’t Want to Go.”

The Poetic Interpretation of "I Don't Want to Go"

Lyrics:

I don’t want to go I don’t want to go Be my own I don’t want to go I don’t want to go Digging, digging For a poetic interpretation I don’t want to go I don’t want to go Head strong, head strong I don’t want to go I don’t want to go

It's fairly clear that I was working my way through something throughout this song. What did I learn? Did I find any clarity on what was getting in my way? Yes, I actually did. Through the songwriting process and necessary self-reflection, I learned that I had a fear of poverty. As a dreaming musician, I had been told all my life that I would be starving if I pursued a career in music. I even added a math degree to my music degree halfway through college because part of me believed it. And guess what? I was teaching primarily... math.

The Challenge and the Opportunity

So, the challenge was facing the truth: admitting that I was wrong. But where there’s challenge, there’s equal part opportunity. This song provided me with a moment of strength and clarity that was so inspiring that I sought clarity on building the life I want.

A Personal Success Story

And guess what? I went for it. Of course, like the songwriting process in life, we all fall and learn, grow, and persist. Now, I own and operate Elation Studios and I’m a partner in other enterprises where I am utilizing my skill set, giving authentic value, fueling my inspiration, and... frankly, loving what I do. None of this would have happened had I given up on understanding that initial feeling of wanting more out of life. And music is an EXCELLENT way to accomplish that. So, I ask: what are you learning about yourself through your music?

Thanks for listening! And a special thank you to Louis Cucunato for requesting this answer!

Final Thoughts

Do you have a question for me? Don’t hesitate to reach out! I would love to answer it. Be well and happy songwriting.

Conclusion

Music, whether it's through writing, performing, or simply listening, can provide us with powerful insights and the courage to overcome our fears. As we explore the challenges and triumphs in our lives, we grow and find clarity. 'I Don't Want to Go' is a testament to that journey.