Reflecting on the Guidance of Growing Up: A Journey of Faith and Purpose

It feels good to reflect upon the positive receptions of growing up under the umbrella of the United States Navy. Living on a Navy base was the same in all seven states we moved to during my childhood. We moved every two years of my life, and my dad retired when I was fourteen. This experience filled my life with a sense of direction and purpose guided by a higher authority—a purpose beyond my comprehension at the time.

My dad’s purpose was to serve his country, and his mother's purpose was to serve him. I, the eldest, and my siblings were along for the ride. My grandfather’s guidance was a constant presence whenever we visited extended family. On both my mom and dad’s side, we had Bible thumping teetotalers dictating their beliefs. "You should go to church," "Drinking alcohol is a sin," "Kids need Sunday school." My parents were forced to attend church with their families when they were children and joined the Navy as soon as they were of age, plucking my mom off her South Georgia farm when she was just eighteen. They were both young and excited about their future together, seeking freedom from an oppressive religious upbringing in 1965.

Unique Perspective on God

My parents would call upon God when they were angry, phrases like "God damnit!" and "Oh Jesus Christ woman!" These were common expressions when things went wrong at home. The spiritual guidance in my family was simple: a family Bible prominently displayed on the coffee table, saying grace before meals, and a closing prayer before bedtime to keep my soul safe.

Role Models at Home and School

Role models at home and in school, combined with books, formed the foundation of my guidance. I loved to read, devouring every book in the house, including my mom's cookbooks, my dad's dirty books, the Bible, the dictionary, and all the encyclopedias displayed in the living room. Even when church-going people came to our front door with pamphlets, I was always interested in what they had to say.

One day, a couple came to our door on a Saturday morning, inviting us kids to Sunday school at their church. I really wanted to go and begged my parents to let me. “They have arts and crafts! I love arts and crafts.” My parents agreed, and I began attending Sunday school every Sunday for at least a year. When we had to move again, I continued my Sunday school attendance on my own.

Personal Guidance and Imagination

Over the years, my own understanding of God evolved. I am grateful for my child-like imagination and my dad’s mom (Mamaw) and my mom’s mom (Granny) for their guidance. During family visits, I spent time with my grandmothers, garnishing much about God from them. The grandmothers are the glue of the family, driving them into action. They provide the foundation for their offspring, acting as caregivers, nurturers, and role models.

In my family, spirituality seemed to skip a generation, like a pendulum. The next generation me brought God back into our family by seeking a higher purpose and interpreting my own understanding of what God is.

Conclusion: Guidance and Faith

Guidance is all around us, everywhere, in everything. A guide can signify a “no” and a guide can signify a “yes.” My feelings are my guides. I seek the highest good for all, not just me by myself. I am not by myself. Sometimes the highest good for all entails a delay in my getting what I want, but I believe my higher good comes from the action of doing the highest good for all. I have faith.

Guidance is a process, not an event. Reflecting on this journey, I am grateful for the diverse influences that shaped my understanding of faith and purpose.