Reflections on Being Raised by a Single Working Mother: Insights and Lessons Learned

When asked about the experience of being raised by a single working mother, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. It depends entirely on the unique circumstances and the decision-making skills of the single parent. In my case, I was fortunate to have been raised by a mother who, despite her challenges, provided the love and support needed to navigate life.

Early Years with a Single Mother

My mother raised me until I was 8 years old. She had me when she was only 17, and my father was just 19. Both of us were the product of a tumultuous relationship. While both parents were present, they were deeply dysfunctional, with violence being a regular occurrence. By the time I was 2 years old, my mom had multiple boyfriends, resulting in additional siblings, and we lived with a variety of family members, often without a stable home. Economic assistance was my mother's main source of income, and we sometimes struggled to make ends meet. My siblings and I were often left to our own devices, with my father stepping in as a temporary caregiver when it became necessary.

The Beginning of Independence

When I was 7, my parents divorced, and I began living with my father. His struggles as a single parent were just as complex. He had a series of tumultuous relationships, none of which lasted more than a year. While my father was teaching me essential life lessons about God, bravery, and peacemaking, the reality of our life at home was often a source of instability and emotional turmoil. He sexually abused me from the age of 8 to 16, which left deep psychological scars. Beyond the physical abuse, my father was a bully and created a chaotic environment where daily fights were the norm.

The Road to Healing

Despite the challenges, I eventually grew into an adult who was passionate about improving the lives of others. I worked in mental health facilities, studied psychology, and sought therapy regularly to help myself. My experiences have taught me that while our childhood can leave lasting marks on us, it does not define who we are or our future potential. In my current life, I have become a mother and have learned the importance of making sound decisions to ensure the well-being of my children. I now recognize that while my parents made poor choices, they could have made better ones. What matters most is the choices we make now and how we navigate the challenges of life.

Lessons Learned

Some key lessons from my experiences include the importance of:

Recognizing Red Flags: In my previous relationships, I recognized and acted upon red flags, prioritizing my children's safety and well-being. Healthy Boundaries: My childhood experiences taught me the importance of setting healthy boundaries and learning to trust. Personal Growth: Throughout my life, I have engaged in continuous personal growth, focusing on self-awareness and improving my situation.

Social and psychological support played a crucial role in my journey towards healing and empowerment. Through mental health resources, therapy, and self-improvement, I have been able to overcome trauma and build a life filled with love, security, and purpose.