The Intricacies of Desire for Recognition and Honor

Introduction

Often, we find ourselves questioning the significance of societal recognition and the honor it brings. This article delves into the complexities of wanting and needing recognition and honor, primarily from the perspective of external validation.

Do We Really Need Recognition and Honor?

Let's start by examining the basic necessities of life, such as air, water, and food, which are essential for our survival. These are fundamental, and without them, life is unsustainable. However, the need for recognition and honor is often seen as an additional, perhaps unnecessary, layer.

From a purely biological standpoint, the requirement for recognition and honor can be waived. 'If I’m to live on, I need air, water, food or I’ll be dead in minutes, days, weeks.' Indeed, the drive to live on is more primal and survival-focused. Recognizing this does not mean we should ignore the subjective experiences and emotional states that recognition and honor can bring.

Wants, Not Needs

The distinction between desire and necessity is crucial. We do not need recognition or honor in the same way we need basic sustenance. Yet, the need for both recognition and honor can be deeply rooted in our psychological makeup. 'No-o-o-o-o I don’t want recognition or honor either. I don’t lack for either.' Yet, when others witness and acknowledge our efforts or achievements, it carries a profound emotional weight.

When someone recognizes me, I feel pleased and gratified. When they honor me, I feel a surge of motivation and a desire to continue living up to that respect. Conversely, a lack of recognition does not leave me wanting. On the contrary, it liberates me from the expectations and pressures that come with external validation.

Validation and Self-Esteem

There is a common belief that validation from others is essential for self-esteem. However, this is a concept that can be deconstructed. 'Self-esteem doesn’t come from other’s esteem.' It is a deeply personal and internal state. 'If another does not recognize me or honor me, I’m fine. Wouldn’t want them to. If that’s their natural response, they will.' The capacity to feel content and validated without external sources is a powerful affirmation of self.

Honor and Recognition from Others

The question then becomes: do we truly need the honor and recognition of others for our own validation? 'If either’s coming in, though, wonder, curiosity, perhaps joy, depending for what, perhaps a pang of awkward cringe, depending for what. Evening out to peace and contentment.' This acceptance and appreciation of recognition, whether positive or mixed, contributes to a fuller emotional life.

Some honors and recognitions mean more than others, carrying unique emotional weights. But the fundamental point is that these positive external recognitions do not define our worth. 'The only way I’d care for either is if neither’s coming in. Fiddle-di-dee to both if neither’s coming in.' The absence of these external validations does not create a void of self-worth.

Validation Through Self-Acceptance

It is essential to understand that self-validation comes from a deep sense of self-awareness. 'If that’s their natural response, they will. That’s the only way I’d care for either.' We are the ultimate authorities on our own worth and honor. 'To know thyself and never betray. My honor’s adequate. My recognition—that simply sounds silly. What am I amnesiac? I recognize myself easily.' The act of self-reflection and self-recognition is a powerful form of validation.

Conclusion

The desire for recognition and honor is a complex emotional and psychological phenomenon. While it is possible to thrive and feel complete without these external validations, they can enrich our lives in meaningful ways. Understanding the difference between need and desire, and focusing on self-validation through self-awareness and personal achievements, can lead to a more fulfilling and self-sufficient life.