The True Test of Friendship: Expectations and Responses When You Can't Give Time

Thank you for reaching out to me with your query. The idea that parents and family are given to us, while friends are a choice that we genuinely make is undeniably true. This concept not only tests the depth of our personal relationships but also challenges us to discern who truly values and respects our choices and goals.

Understanding the True Friends

When faced with the situation where you cannot give time to your friends, it is essential to understand how different responses can delineate true friends from those who are not. True friends understand the complexity of life and do not demand your time unconditionally. Here’s a detailed look at their behavior during such situations.

Case 1: Understanding and Support

The first scenario involves friends who genuinely care and want to understand. When you explain that your time is occupied by your aspirations and goals, these friends will:

Ask for the reasons behind your schedule Attempt to resolve any misunderstandings Understand that your focus is on achieving personal goals and will support you in any way Spene time with you whenever you are free and ensure your well-being

These actions clearly indicate that the friend falls into the category of true friends. They respect your choices, and their behavior aligns with what a genuine friendship should be. During this time, you can rely on them for emotional support and practical assistance. Their dedication and understanding are valuable assets to have in your life.

Case 2: Lack of Respect and Understanding

On the other hand, some friends may start to distance themselves when they see that you cannot give them time. This can result in two primary behaviors:

Disregarding Your Needs: They will ignore your needs and concerns, treating you as if you have disappeared from their lives. Communication and interest in your well-being become non-existent. Demotivating Influence: Instead of understanding and supporting your ambitions, they will actively discourage you. They might say things like, 'You have changed' or 'Why are you spending time on this now?' This kind of behavior is not indicative of true friendship and often stems from a lack of empathy and understanding.

When friends start to disengage and demotivate you, it’s a clear sign that their support is conditional and superficial. True friends should be there for you in all aspects of your life, not just when it suits them.

Importance of True Friends

The significance of having true friends in one's life cannot be overstated. True friends:

Support you during tough times Encourage you to pursue your dreams Remind you of your worth and value Provide a safe space for you to share your thoughts and feelings

By identifying and nurturing these relationships, you can build a strong support system that will benefit you in all walks of life.

Conclusion

Remember, true friends are the ones who understand and support you, even when things get challenging. They respect your choices and are there for you in all seasons of life. If you find that your friends become cold or demotivating when you’re unable to give them time, it may be a sign that these relationships are not as genuine as you thought.

Let this reflection be a reminder to invest in genuine friendships and to seek out those who truly value and support you.