Why Do People Say ‘What’ When They Heard You Perfectly the First Time?

Have you ever found yourself saying 'what' after someone mentioned something that you thought they heard clearly? While it might seem like a simple misunderstanding, there are several psychological, cognitive, and social reasons behind this seemingly perplexing behavior. Let's explore the possible explanations:

Confirmation Seeking

Sometimes, people say 'what' to confirm that they correctly understood what was said, particularly when the information is surprising or unexpected. It acts as a verbal reassurance to ensure that no important details were missed. This behavior can be seen in various situations, such as during a conversation or a presentation. For instance, if someone is told something they find hard to believe or unexpected, they might use 'what' to seek confirmation.

Processing Delay

Another reason for saying 'what' is the natural processing delay that occurs in the brain. It takes a moment for the brain to fully process spoken words, especially in a noisy environment or when the information is complex. This processing delay can lead to reflexive responses like saying 'what' before the sentence is fully understood.

Social Interaction

Saying 'what' can also be a social interaction strategy. It can serve as a signal to the speaker to pause, which can help smooth the conversation. It can also be a way to show engagement and attentiveness. By saying 'what', the listener signals that they are actively processing the information and that the speaker should not go on to the next point immediately.

Distraction and External Factors

External factors can also play a role. Background noise, distractions, or fatigue might make it difficult to process the words accurately, leading to the reflexive use of 'what'. In such cases, the listener might need a moment to regain focus and fully understand the statement.

Politeness and Habit

In some cultures, using 'what' is seen as polite and considerate. It shows that the listener is giving the speaker their full attention and wants to ensure that the message was conveyed correctly. Additionally, some people might have developed a habit of saying 'what' as a conversational marker, often without giving it much thought.

Deeper Communication Insights

While the reflexive use of 'what' might seem trivial, it can provide valuable insights into the dynamics of communication. For example, if someone is saying 'what' frequently, it could indicate that they are inattentive or not fully engaged. In contrast, if they say 'what' immediately after saying something surprising, it might suggest a strong desire for confirmation.

Strategies for Communicating More Effectively

If you frequently find yourself saying 'what', it might be helpful to practice active listening and give yourself a moment to process the information. On the other hand, if the person you are talking to is saying 'what', you can try repeating the information in a clearer or louder voice, or simply giving them a moment to think.

Friendly Anecdotes

For instance, my mom has a habit of saying 'what' to everyone, which can be quite annoying. I've noticed that if I wait a few seconds, she often figures it out and responds appropriately. In some cases, you can even try staying silent for a few seconds after asking a question. If they really didn't hear it, they will likely not know what to say next, giving you a chance to rephrase your question.

Understanding why people say 'what' can help improve communication and reduce misunderstandings. By recognizing the underlying reasons, we can better navigate conversations and ensure that our messages are understood accurately.