Why I Learned to Always Lose and How to Win at Life and Money

Embracing Early Losses for a Better Future

Believe it or not, the opportunity to learn how to lose early on in life can actually be quite beneficial. While it may seem counterintuitive, succeeding only in winning and then experiencing brutal losses later in life can be far more challenging and potentially damaging to your mental health.
The pressures associated with such a trajectory can lead to stress and anxiety, and even mental health issues if not dealt with properly. Learning how to lose, on the other hand, prepares you to handle such situations more effectively, making it easier to bounce back and persevere in the long run.

Limiting Beliefs: Our Inherent Obstacles

Have you ever reflected on the beliefs that guide your actions? It's quite likely that you have a set of beliefs you've adopted since childhood, particularly shaped by your upbringing and experiences. These beliefs can be incredibly powerful, acting as both a support and a hindrance to your personal growth and success.

Limiting beliefs are those that can prevent you from reaching your full potential. They often stem from our formative years, where conditions and circumstances may have dictated certain outlooks and behaviors that no longer serve us well in adulthood. These beliefs can present significant obstacles to your journey towards becoming the best version of yourself.

The Evolution of Beliefs

As you grow from a child to an adult, your initial belief systems need to evolve to accommodate the changing landscape of your experiences. This process is a natural part of personal development, moving from dependence to independence and then to interdependence. In essence, you're learning to let go of old, limiting beliefs and adopting new ones that will better serve you as you progress in life.

A New Approach: Embracing Your Strengths

One approach to overcoming these limiting beliefs is to focus on your strengths. In my book, 'A New Pair of Glasses,' I offer a structured program that encourages you to apply your unique strengths to fully engaged activities, thereby enhancing your enjoyment of life's pleasures, gratifications, and purposes. This holistic approach known as 'Walking your own path' can help you build the core pillars of your life and foster a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

If you are a Prime user, you can access this free resource to start transforming your life. The program is designed to help you navigate your way towards becoming the best version of yourself.

Identifying and Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

While some of these childhood beliefs will inevitably carry over into your adult life, many of them can hinder your performance and success. Recognizing and working to overcome these beliefs can be incredibly beneficial. You can start by examining the following list of common limiting beliefs:

I need everyone I know to approve of me. I must avoid being disliked by any source. To be a valuable person, I must succeed in everything I do. It is not okay for me to make mistakes. If I do, I am bad. People should strive to ensure I am happy all the time. People who do not make me happy should be punished. Things must work out the way I want them to work out. My emotions are illnesses that I'm powerless to control. I can feel happy in life without contributing back in some way. Everyone needs to rely on someone stronger than themselves. Events in my past are the root of my attitude and behavior today. My future outcomes will be the same as my past outcomes. I shouldn't have to feel sadness, discomfort, and pain. Someone somewhere should take responsibility for me.

Beyond these more general beliefs, you may have your own specific limiting beliefs, such as 'I'm not good enough,' 'I'm not worthy,' 'I'm not smart enough,' and so on. Working with a skilled helper can be extremely effective, but you can also start by answering the following questions to gain some insight:

What is the evidence for this belief – and against it? Am I basing this belief in facts or feelings? Is this belief really black and white – or is it more interesting than that? Could I be misrepresenting the evidence? What assumptions am I making? Might other people have other interpretations of the same situation – what are they? Am I looking at all the evidence or just what supports my thoughts? Could my thoughts be an exaggeration of what is true? Am I having this thought out of habit or do the facts support it? Did someone pass this thought or belief on to me – if so, are they a reliable source? Is my thought a likely scenario or is it the worst case scenario?

The Path to Success: Embrace Your Journey

Remember, your journey is not about reaching a perfect destination but about growing and learning along the way. Embrace the challenges, learn from your losses, and use your strengths to create a fulfilling life. By recognizing and addressing your limiting beliefs, you can pave the way towards success in both life and finances.

Conclusion

So, why did I learn to always lose? It's because understanding the power of loss helps us to build resilience, coping skills, and a more balanced perspective on the world. By working through the limiting beliefs and adopting a growth mindset, you can turn your life around and achieve greater success in all areas of your life.