Why Does My Inner Child Desperately Want My Therapist to Save Me?

Many individuals puzzled by the strong desire of their inner child to rely on their therapist for salvation may wonder what this truly means. This article delves into the reasons behind such feelings and provides insights into the therapy process and counseling.

Understanding the Inner Child's Desire

It is crucial to understand the circumstances that shape a person's inner child. Your past experiences, including any trauma or unresolved issues, play a significant role. These aspects should be openly discussed with your therapist to uncover the underlying causes.

Questions arise about what the inner child truly needs saving from. Is it specific situations or emotions? Only through meaningful discussions with your therapist can these questions be answered comprehensively.

The primary misconception is that it's your therapist who needs to save you, not the child within you. The child is actually longing for your adult, therapeutic presence to provide the nurturing and guidance it needs. When you leave the therapist's office, the adult self should carry on the parenting role to ensure the child feels secure and supported.

Developmental Perspective on Dependency

Kugler, a renowned therapist, highlights that dependency on an all-knowing adult figure is normal during childhood but not in adulthood. Children often lack self-worth and assertiveness, and may have an unbalanced attraction to those who can take charge. This dependency can manifest as chronic low-level anxiety, low-grade depression, and a lack of sense of self-efficacy.

It is essential to address these developmental issues with your therapist. They can guide you in becoming more self-reliant and promoting emotional well-being through therapy.

The Root of the Need for Salvation

The desire to be saved is often rooted in the cognitive belief that one cannot save themselves. This is a relatable feeling, even though it doesn't feel good to think that you need to be saved. Over time, with the help of your therapist, you can learn to become a self-sufficient individual.

Your therapist acts as a parental figure, offering guidance and support. The therapist's role extends beyond mere assistance to nurturing and empowering the inner child. This therapeutic relationship is likened to the transference, where patients seek what they may have missed during childhood, such as enough love and care.

Transforming the Need for Salvation

To transform this need for salvation, it is essential to hang in there and continue learning from your therapist. With time and guidance, the inner child's need for rescue will diminish as you develop the skills to be a better parent to yourself.

Your therapist will help you understand and care for the inner child, fostering a sense of self-worth and self-efficacy. As you grow to become a 'good enough' parent to yourself, the need for external salvation will wane.

In essence, embracing the journey of self-discovery and self-improvement, with the guidance of a skilled therapist, can significantly reduce the desire to be saved and foster a sense of empowerment and well-being.