The Funniest Excuses Police Officers Have Heard
The Funniest Excuses Police Officers Have Heard
As a seasoned officer in the force, I've heard my fair share of excuses for avoiding tickets or evading responsibilities. Some are funny, some are just plain silly, and a few highlight the human condition in the most unexpected ways. In this article, we'll explore some of the best, funniest, or surprisingly touching excuses I've heard over the years.
Excuse of the Day: The 'Change' Excuse
During my career, one young rookie officer shared an incredibly amusing excuse. He claimed, 'My wife is going through the change, let her be late tonight!' This embarrassment of ignorance made for a memorable moment, as both the officer and the public had to face the fact that 'the change' refers to a woman's menopausal stage rather than just a delay in response time.
Speeding Under Stress
I recall another night when I came across a young man who was driving at a staggering 80 mph in a 55 mph zone—clearly going in a hurry. When I stopped him, I learned that he was so scared of losing his wife's affections, she intended to give him a very passionate kiss first thing in the morning. His response, 'I just needed to get home quickly to avoid her anger!' While romantic, it wasn't quite the valid reason to exceed the speed limit. Save the intense moments for when you're both safely inside the house.
The Caller Issue
One of the most enlightening excuses happened during a different scenario. I remember when I left my phone on the roof of my car. How absurd does this sound? In those days, we only got occasional calls on our cell phones, and they were super expensive. Shortly after I drove off to work, dispatch called me to report a found phone. Turns out, a kind stranger had found my device, spent a few minutes looking at the contacts, and brought it back to the station. This small gesture meant a lot to me, and he mentioned, with a mischievous smile, that I 'really owe him one.'
Payback, Pure and Simple
Fast forward to a traffic stop where a female driver was legally compliant and showed no signs of trouble. As I handed her the release papers, the passenger made a startling revelation. He said, 'Remember me?' At that moment, I must have looked a bit befuddled, but he clarified, 'I found your phone!' You never forget such an incident, especially when it comes to matters like this one. This man not only saved me from a hefty cell phone bill but from countless calls, messages, and a baffling explanation for leaving the phone on the roof.
What About the Good Ones?
While these stories highlight some pretty funny antics, it's worth noting that sometimes the situation is much more serious. The most commendable excuse is when someone is actively being shot at, and you understand their desire to handle the situation on their terms. As police officers, we respect that decision and can empathize with the urgency of these moments.
So, whether you're driving 80 in a 55 or forgetting to put your phone in your pocket, remember the words of wisdom: 'Plan ahead and stay safe.' And who knows, you might be remembered for some of the best—and worst—excuses out there!
Conclusion
Our journey through the world of police excused reasons showcases both the silly and the serious. These stories not only entertain but also remind us of the importance of communication, foresight, and a little bit of wit. Each of these incidents adds a unique flavor to the fabric of our society and the experiences of those who serve.
Now, go out there and be safe, whether you're a police officer, a driver, or someone in need of a good laugh. After all, laughter and a clear mind are essential tools in any situation.