What do War Veterans Get Sick of Hearing from People Who are Not War Veterans?

It drives me to no end when someone who has never served tries to lecture me about the military or its procedures. These misconceptions and misguided comments truly irritate me. It’s time to discuss some of the most common annoyances that veterans encounter from non-servicemen, and perhaps a bit of respect can be earned.

Thank You for Your Service: More Than Just Words

Upon hearing the phrase 'Thank you for your service,' I often find myself feeling frustrated. The phrase is intended as a gesture of gratitude, but to veterans, it often falls flat. For one, I did not serve for recognition. I didn’t seek adulation or a pat on the back. The physical and psychological demands of service are far from something that can be easily recognized with a simple 'thank you.' Moreover, the so-called platitudes offered by well-meaning citizens often sound hollow when they come from those who have never experienced the rigors or nuances of military life.

And if you want to show your gratitude to a veteran, consider voting for candidates who stand committed to the welfare of our troops, not those who favor the military-industrial complex. The Republican Party's support often prioritizes the needs and benefits of military personnel, which is cyclist to a misinformed view that the party cares deeply for the troops.

The "Gotcha" Questions and Uninformed Probing

Another big source of frustration for me is when people engage in what I call 'gotcha' questions. It's highly annoying when individuals bombard us with probing questions about specific military designations, base locations, or deliberately confused terminology. Such queries often stem from a desire to appear knowledgeable at someone else's expense. In reality, it's insulting and often ends in embarrassment for the asker. These questions reflect a complete lack of understanding and respect for the sacrifices and experiences that come with military service.

The worst part is when people try to prove their heroism by exposing stolen valor. If you’ve never experienced the intensity of military life, don’t pretend to be a hero when you’re actually trying to appear knowledgeable by questioning those who know better. It won't end well for you.

Invalid Excuses and Misconceptions

Sometimes, people make dismissive statements like, 'I was going to join but…' They think that their civilian career is just as hard as the military one, or that the military makes a lot of money and serves no real purpose. These comparisons are often made without a full understanding of what serving in the military really entails. The military is not a profession where toughness alone is enough; it requires a deep commitment and sacrifice that many civilians simply cannot relate to.

Another recent straw that stirs the beverage I try to avoid is the comparison between a football season and a military deployment. While both involve some form of commitment, the mental and physical demands of military service are far more complex and demanding than any civilian sport.

The "First Punch" Myth

There is an annoying statement that often causes my blood to boil: "I thought about joining, but I’d punch the drill sergeant the first time he yelled at me." This couldn’t be further from the truth. As a veteran, I can attest to the fact that the average person who gets this idea never makes it past basic training. The prospect of that scenario is laughable. Drills are there to teach new recruits the basics of being a soldier. Yelling is a part of the process, but it is not a reflection of abuse or unnecessary hazing.

Respecting the Profession

We don’t care about your hypotheticals or excuses about joining. It’s a real commitment that requires dedication and resilience. If you can’t stomach the prospect of being yelled at, then we’re glad you didn’t join. The same goes for thinking that joining makes you a hero. Our job is not about being badass or cool; it’s about necessity. We must do this work because in this world, such service is indispensable.

So, the next time you're tempted to lecture a veteran about their service or comprehension of military culture, consider the source of your information. It’s easy to spout off opinions from the comfort of your couch. The harsh realities are different when you must live with the very real emotions and experiences that come with service. A bit of respect for the work and dedication of veterans would be appreciated.